Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Lamest Post Ever

This might be, like, the lamest post ever. But someone out there just might benefit from my extensive research and subsequent findings.

Allow me to introduce you to the two most helpful cleaning products I have found.

Hi, I'm a Shark Steam Mop.

When I first saw this, it was on an infomercial and I was totally sucked in. "That thing can clean CRAYONS off LINOLEUM using nothing but STEAM!" I squealed. I was tempted to buy it on the spot, but Brian said absolutely not. And then fate brought it and me to Costco at the same time. I knew better than to tempt fate a second time.

I love that thing like a single forty five year old loves Snuggies.

All it uses is water and steam, so it's easy on the pocketbook, easy on the environment, and easy on my lungs. The steam supposedly sterilizes as it cleans and my wood floors tell me it's quite enjoyable, as well.
Cookie the Dog loves to rest her little head on the window sill and watch the comings and goings of the neighborhood. Over time, though, her doggy jowls leave a big blob of gooberness on the wall. Solution? Shark Steam Mop. Really. I use it to clean my walls. Really.
So, there's that.

Yesterday I was puttering around the house in my pajamas, sucking up a dust bunny here, doing a dish there. On a whim, I opened up my oven and had a little look see. Imagine what it would look like if a large gnome exploded inside a box, and then his insides were baked over and over again into all the surfaces. And then imagine that two large loaves of banana bread exploded inside that same box, and those remains were baked over and over again into all the previously gnomed surfaces.

I thought about shutting the door and folding laundry instead.

But then I started feeling a challenge coming on. First I vacuumed out the oven (because there were gnome chunks). Then I used my secret weapon to get that oven looking spic and span, but the worst part was the glass window. Nothing that I used would get that greasy, bready, gnome off. I wanted to use the secret weapon on the glass, but I was afraid it would scratch. Desperate, I tested it in a small corner and not only did it get all the gnome off, it didn't scratch either.

The secret weapon? My number one favorite cleaning product of all time.

Kaboom Ultra Scrub will clean anything and it will do it like nothing you've ever seen. I first tried it when I was at my wits end with my bathtub. I could not find anything to get rid of the weird pink soap scum that called my bathroom home. I had tried all manner of cleaning products, including the highly toxic CLR. And nothing would polish the faucets, clean the grout, or remove stains or soap scum like Kaboom Ultra Scrub.

Just how good is this stuff? My mother-in-law told me my guest bathroom was so clean she felt like she was in a five star hotel. She just had to know what I used to get the faucets that shiny. It passed the mother-in-law test, people. That's how good.

Here are pictures of my oven adventure:

Gnome remains on the left, post Kaboom on the right.

Getting closer....


And did I mention it smells like Fruit Loops?

May your faucets be shiny, your ovens be gnome free, and your banana bread be the non exploding type.

Here concludes the lamest post ever.



Kimba said...

Aaaaiiiii! Sold! On both! Maybe now Caleb will let me get the Shark Mop! And the Kaboom, I've got to try it. I fear several "gnomes" have met their end in mine, long before I arrived.

Jessica and Reecey said...

I know a married 25-year-old who adores his Snuggie. I bought it for him as a joke, and catch him wearing it early in the morning while playing his nerd computer games. Oh how I love my husband :)

Kjersti said...

LOVE this post. And sold on the Kaboom, I must have some.

turleybenson said...

Best. Post. Ever.

How does Kaboom compare to OxiClean, I wonder? Softer, certainly. Better smelling, perhaps. Equally effective? I'd like to know.

Adam and Tara said...

I have seen that sharkie thing so many times and each time I beg Adam to let me have it. Now I have another reason to go get it! My wood floors and I thank you :)

The Kilpacks said...

Great post! Love the clean oven!

Liv said...

EVERYBODY loves a good cleaning post.

Chris said...

Speaking of as-seen-on-TV, I can't get that circular saw that cuts through a car out of my mind. (Rest in peace, Billy Mays).

Abby said...


I've only used Oxiclean on my laundry. You can use it for other stuff? Like what? I do have some, I'll have to go take a gander at the box, and then do a little OxiClean vs. Kaboom contest!

Abby said...

Chris, I know, I pondered the fact that all these products are "As Seen On TV" ones. But hey, they really work, and that's good enough for me.

Did you know that Target has an "As Seen On TV" section? Complete with Snuggies, Bump Its and all manner of infomercial items.

Mellanee said...

I think two companies owe you a bunch of free stuff for a great free product promotion.

heather said...

Does the Kaboom come with someone to do all the hard work? I'm not up to it but seriously the oven is a problem at the Carlile household. The problem being I hate cleaning it.

Abby said...

Heather Dear,

Well, no, it doesn't come with a cleaning gnome. And I would have used mine, but he exploded in the oven.

So, anyway, I did have to put in some serious elbow grease to get that oven clean. It wasn't like the Kaboom cleaned the oven itself, but it definitely made it easier, not to mention nice and clean!

I've never tried those things where you spray them in the oven and then turn the oven on super high for like four hours because baking chemicals in my house just doesn't sound like a good idea. However, they probably work pretty well.

Good luck on your oven, though. Seriously.

Kimba said...

I'll have you know my Target didn't have any Kaboom!

Also, the mall nearest me has an entire store dedicated to As Seen On TV products. It's called As Seen On TV.

Crazily enough. I'm dying to know if that Smooth Away product works...