Friday, January 16, 2009

The Bubble Bursteth

I have had a thought bubbling around in my brain for a while now. Although I haven't really been able to articulate it, the thought has been growing and gathering information over time. I think I'm ready to talk about it now.

I have been receiving subtle hints from, well, the world, that being a stay-at-home mom is lame. That it is, somehow, less than. That it diminishes or marginalizes the woman. That it makes her powerless. The world asks me why I would want to do such a thing. And I'm not even a mom. Yet.

I have also been receiving subtle hints from this same world that a girl getting an education is lame. "Why are you going to school?" the world asks me, time and time again. "Well, what are you going to do with an English degree?" or, my favorite, "So, you're just going to school now, huh?"

Well, these questions plagued me. They beat me down, made me feel bad. And angry. I didn't think my desires were THAT unusual, but it seemed everyone I shared them with looked at me with pity or scorn in their eyes. Then yesterday, as I was at home, my own special place in the world, I heard these words:

"Don't ever sell yourself short as a woman or as a mother. It never ceases to amaze me that the world would state that the woman is in a form of servitude which does not allow her to develop her gifts and talents. Nothing, absolutely nothing could be farther from the truth. Do not let the world define, denigrate, or limit your feelings of lifelong learning and the values of motherhood in the home both here mortally and the eternal and learning benefits you give to your children and to your companion. Life long learning is essential to the vitality of the human mind, body, and soul which enhances self worth and self actuation."

-Robert D. Hales

My dear, dear friend, Leslie, recently posted about how things are not coincidences in life. Answers and strength come to us from a loving Heavenly Father who knows us each. Hearing Elder Hales' talk yesterday told me that I was on the right path for me and my family, it also told me that Heavenly Father knew what was bouncing around in this little brain of mine.

So, to you world, the answer is yes. I am JUST going to school now. And when I'm done with that, I'm JUST going to be a stay-at-home mom. A smart one. I'm not going to get up at the butt crack of dawn to go answer phones for my boss and schedule his massage appointments. I AM however, going to get up at the butt crack of dawn to wipe some little teeny butt cracks. And I will love it all the while.

So you know what, world? You can eat dirt. And schedule your own massages.

I love learning. That's why I'm going to school. I want to learn forever, until my brain has sucked up information to its fullest capacity. I will probably go to school for the rest of my life. And while I'm doing that, I want to love and teach my children.

Lesson number one will be about priorities.


Bre said...

I agree with you 200%. I can't wait to be a stay at home Mom! I'm wishing and when the wishing is done then I'll be counting for 9 months and then... I'll be holding little hands and stroking little cheeks and when they grow up... I'll go back to school, yup, back to school! I can't wait!

turleybenson said...

Amen, Abby. You school your little heart out. Never let anyone tell you it's a waste!

The Kilpacks said...

Way to go Abby! Just because you become a stay-at-home mom doesn't make you any less of a woman. You find much better things to fill your time up vs. answering phones and schedulng appts. etc. I have loved every minute of being at home, and I have loved working outside of the home as well. What a joy and blessing to be able to choose what we want to do and get to do it!

Jack & Lindsay Chang said...


heather said...

Well said. I say bring on the poopy bums and then bring me a book!

You'll make a damn fine mom one day.

Whenever you want of course.

No pressure.

Yesterday would have been good.

But no pressure.


Nick and Stacy Stevens said...

Amen. I couldn't agree with you more. Keep up with school and get as much education in this life that you can. That is just the best thing you can give your future children.

Jessica and Reecey said...

Amen. I have considered the same things, especially lately, having started my career. And it comes down to priorities. And you've got yours straight missy :)

Liv said...

It's such a hard thing to digest, isn't it? I was told just this morning that it's so great I have an education. It'll never fail me, no matter what endeavors I pursue. I love my Stake Presidency.

Thanks for sharing these thoughts of yours! I feel very similarly about this!

Kimba said...

I am so proud of you, in a totally non-patronizing way, that you'll be done with school soon! I totally want to come up to see you walk!

Oh, and yee-haw for SAHM's. It's the best job I've ever had! Not answering phones for someone else is SO rewarding...

:) Can't wait to see you soon!

Martha Lee said...

I loved this post. I agree with you that the world does not seem to value the stay at home mom as it used to.
I am also glad that we as women have more choices and chances to do what is best for us and our families. Even if people say, "Why are you doing this?"

Love you lots,

PS I always say education is a good thing.

Abby said...

Thanks for all the positive reinforcement, my yos. You are all good yos. And great women!

And to Heather.

I'm workin' on it.

Yesterday WOULD have been nice.



Whitney and Lish Harris said...

I love this! Thank you Abby. You're amazing!

The Cori said...

You are inspiring! It was so good to see you during Christmas too! Good luck with school :-)