My dreams are off the hook. They are convoluted, twisted and random, and never was that fact more true than last night.
Follow along with me here.
I dreamt that I was Jon Bon Jovi's teenage daughter. We were sitting on the shore of a lake together with my annoying little brother whom I don't even know since in real life I don't even have a younger brother. I watched while 'dad' and 'little bro' fished and 'dad' talked to me about my new step mom. He told me I should be nice to her and treat her with respect, and if I did, he would take me to a concert later.
So, in an effort to be nice to my new step mom, I decided to make her a pair of earrings. And oh, what a pair they were. I found some boat buttons and then fashioned waves out of blue painter's tape. I attached the tape and, voila, earrings fit for a step mom...who happened to be Penelope Cruz. My step mom then burst forth from the little lifeguard building on the shore and started walking toward us in a white swimming suit. I think David Hasselhoff was running next to her and waving.
But then all of the sudden I was sitting at Lindsay Beal's mom's kitchen table and her mom was helping me whittle hoops out of a piece of wood with my fingernails.
And then all of the sudden I was at a Wal Mart in Newton, Utah where they don't even have a grocery store in real life and my mom and I were shopping for packing tape to mail a teensy box that said "Laptop" on it to my sister-in-law, Brenda, who lives just south of Salt Lake.
We packaged up tiny laptop and went to the drive-through post office that was in the Wal Mart parking lot (kind of like the gas station in the Costco parking lot) only we went through it backwards and when an elderly couple came in the right way we were almost in a head on collision with them at five miles an hour. So I got ticked and laid on my horn and scared the little elderly couple and suddenly my SUV turned into a 1973 Cadillac and we chased the little old couple all through the town until they ran into their garage and closed it to hide. Then I chased people down in Newton cemetery until the cops came and then I drove through somebody's backyard and then I woke up.
So, there's that. Whew.