Look out your window.
Look at the grass, the green, green grass.
Think of it's beauty. Think of the spring time, and how green things are popping up everywhere.
Think of the leaves on the trees. They too, are green.
Think of a beautiful deep river, flowing through the land with it's emerald green hues.
Got it? Got the image?
-----------------------------------
Now imagine poo.
Poo that is green as the green, green grass in the spring. Green as the new leaves on the trees. Green as that deep, flowing river.
Fever? Negative.
Diarrhea? Negative.
Vomitting? Negative.
Sick or otherwise afflicted? Negative.
Those were the four questions and the four answers that resulted from the frantic phone call I put in to Lydia's pediatrician last week after I opened her diaper and feasted my eyes on that horrible color.
In my opinion, poop should not be green. But Brian looked it up online after he heard screaming coming from the nursery (that was me) and assured me it was normal. I didn't believe him, so I called the doctor.
Sheepishly, I later told Brian about it.
"I called them," I said. "About the poop."
"Oh yeah?" Brian replied. "What did they say, congratulations?"
Look at the grass, the green, green grass.
Think of it's beauty. Think of the spring time, and how green things are popping up everywhere.
Think of the leaves on the trees. They too, are green.
Think of a beautiful deep river, flowing through the land with it's emerald green hues.
Got it? Got the image?
-----------------------------------
Now imagine poo.
Poo that is green as the green, green grass in the spring. Green as the new leaves on the trees. Green as that deep, flowing river.
Fever? Negative.
Diarrhea? Negative.
Vomitting? Negative.
Sick or otherwise afflicted? Negative.
Those were the four questions and the four answers that resulted from the frantic phone call I put in to Lydia's pediatrician last week after I opened her diaper and feasted my eyes on that horrible color.
In my opinion, poop should not be green. But Brian looked it up online after he heard screaming coming from the nursery (that was me) and assured me it was normal. I didn't believe him, so I called the doctor.
Sheepishly, I later told Brian about it.
"I called them," I said. "About the poop."
"Oh yeah?" Brian replied. "What did they say, congratulations?"
And the nurses were even laughing in the background.
6 comments:
Ahh I died laughing! Oh so funny...congrats... :-)
Totally happened with Gav too! With babies, surprises are lurking around every nook and cranny.
I would actually be shocked if Talmages poops were a normal brown color! His have been nothing but the rainbow. And what Brian said to you, priceless. You guys are silly!
Your blog is so cute. I stalk it regularly. That is pretty funny, but rest assured every mom has called the pediatrician over what you are told is nothing. They need to have a hotline we can call and ask questions without the risk of feeling stupid in front of the doctor.
ahh the rookie mistakes. we've all made em, and will continue to do so.
OMG this is too funny!! I'll be learning all about this oh so soon as I'm due next month!
And I promise I'm not a weird stalker but I saw your comment on a post by Jessica that you made that adorable stacker toy!! Do you have an etsy shop? I'm wondering how you made it or where I could get one if you sell them! :) Thanks!!
Oh, my email is jborget(at)gmail.com :)
Post a Comment