Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Return Triumphant

Okay. I admit it. Those first few weeks of motherhood are...what's the word. Bleary. And weird. In fact, here is a picture of bleary weirdness. Yes, I set up a bed on the floor of her nursery and I slept there for several nights until I felt comfortable enough to let her sleep there on her own. Yes, I am wearing sweats because the crazy night sweats that you have after having a baby give you the chills. And no, I don't know what day or time it is in this picture, or how long I had been sitting there rocking that little bundle of joy, or how long it had been since I had showered. Or whether I am sitting on a doughnut shaped blow up pillow or a bag of ice.

Things are going more smoothly now, though I can't seem to let go of some intense feelings of anxiety. I worry constantly that something is going to happen to Lydia; SIDS, that someone will drop her, that she's not eating often enough, that she's sleeping too much. I don't know. Name something, and I'll worry about it.

But I'm getting better. And I am able to blame my anxiety on the hormones, which is helpful.

Lydia is a chunk, people. She has put on over a pound since her birth. Her chin has doubled and she's working on some nice thigh rolls...just like mommy, though in sort of a different direction.
Her favorite games include, but are not limited to, the following:

Raggedy Anne (in which she stares at her Raggedy Anne doll from Kim)

Cow (in which she stares at her cow blanket)

Dad (in which she stares at her dad)

She also enjoys the occasional round of Window, Light, and Tissue Box.
And she loves bum ruffles just as much as her mom does (pay no attention to the laundry all around me).


Kimba said...

Dude. Sigh. Just sent you a whole huge text about this post, but love it. All of it. Can't wait to come up!

turleybenson said...

I love it, Abs. I remember that "haze," though I think mine lasted 3 months. You young 'uns :)

I remember being constantly preoccupied with the well-being of my baby's head. Crazy mommy worries.

(His head is just fine, thank you)

Nick and Stacy Stevens said...

She is so beautiful. I hope the haze only lasts the few weeks for you. I feel like we are still in it.

Jessica and Reecey said...

Oh my goodness, she's perfect. I want to hold her. And kiss her. And let you take a nap.

Hang in there. Though the haze is tough, you'll miss it (somewhat) once it's over.

PS. I think I spot the outfit we gave her! Yeah!

PPS. You look fantastic. Seriously, I don't even believe you were pregnant.

heather said...

Ahhh, I can't believe how perfect she is. Cliche I know but enjoy every second, even while sleeping on the floor. Chelsea is only 6 months old and my heart already hurts knowing she'll never be as little as your sweet Lydia is now. I love you!

Lloyd said...

Give me a call and I will tell you what your Grandpa Meikle used to tell your Grandma Meikle regarding worry.


Ryan and Amber said...

Cute pictures. The transition is interesting to say the least. Good luck!

Jocelyn and Cody Pehrson said...

Oh! You look so pretty! It looks like you bounced right back. ANd Lydia is so beautiful! She is really an adorable baby, it makes me sad that Talmage is almost 2 1/2 months already! When he was 2 weeks we got on a plane to utah to spend 2 weeks for christmas. I WAS EXHAUSTED!! I don't know what I was thinking. BUT I hope you are feeling good and seriously just sleep whenever she does, forget about the laundry and cooking and all that! Really!! SLEEP!! trust me! I wish I could be there to help you because I remember all the worrying and sleepless days. Take care though! I Love ya!

Katie Hagen said...

You are hilarious and your bebe is precious. It just makes me happy. Congratulations!!!

Colby and Steph Stringham said...

Oh Abby! She is just beautiful! And how the heck do u look so good after poppin a baby out!? Good luck with being a new mommy!

Leslie said...

You are both beautiful and amazing.
The haze won't last long. It feels long, but you will look back and be surprised. I do remember being so tired that I actually ran into the wall on my way in to feed Cameron. It is a whole new experience that is for sure.

The mommy worries really don't go away. You just worry about different things. Just know that you are a wonderful mommy and be sure to get some sleep when she does. Just let everything else go.

She truly is a perfect little baby. Get some rest and take the help if it comes your way.

Love you to pieces!

Camille and Paul said...

It is good to hear an update from you! It is funny how busy a newborn can keep you even when they are sleeping so much! Each day will get a little easier. You look wonderful, even though you may not think so yourself, but you really do! She is darling, I am so happy for you. Give her a hug and kiss from me!

meghan said...

OH the worry! It will never end. You'll only get new things to worry about as she grows and as the brothers and sisters come. Our latest worry is a set of triplets at church who tell my Klara that she is ugly and they hate her and her freckles. Then there's the worry of how your own parenting might be damaging them! Will they make it in the world??? I can only trust that Heavenly Father will catch them when they fall. I love you and your precious Lydia. My best love to you you all! Meg

Liv said...

I'm scared. Even though I know it's worth it all.

Your family looks beautiful :)

Abby said...

Meghan, that is HEARTBREAKING! How are you handling the situation with those nasty little triplets? Good grief. Sounds like something that would happen to Anne of Green Gables.

Poor little Klara. And she's such an adorable little thing, too.

Those girls must be jealous.

Jess said...

SO MUCH FUN!! She's so cute, Abby. Oh, and the anxiety thing? Still happens to me. All the time. Call me, we can worry together.

Kathryn said...

Oh my goodness she is gorgeous.
And I think that I may have forgotten how funny you are. You are rivaling Kim in blog-funniness, the i-laugh-out-loud-in-front-of-strangers-when-i-read-your-blog funny.

Tanya said...

look how wonderful that sweet little baby is. you will never forget those first few weeks of being a mom. though blury in many ways, those feeling and memories will never go away.