Monday, January 25, 2010

Pregnancy Ponderings

In this edition of Pregnancy Ponderings:

-Anatomy of a Play Date
-Droppin' it Like it's Hot (even though it's kind of not)
-Roll the Credits


Anatomy of a Play Date

Can we just talk about play dates for a second?

When I was a kid, I would call up a friend and say, "Can you come play?" The friend would say, "Let me ask my mom," and would then scream, "MO-OM!!! Can I go play at Abby's house?!" The mom would say, "After you clean your room." Then the friend would say to me, "My mom says I can after I clean my room."

And I would say, "Okay. We can bounce bouncy balls."

Then the friend would say, "Okay."

And that was that.

But now there is this new thing.

The play date.

As I understand it, the play date is when the moms arrange for their children to play together WITH THE MOMS. A mom calls up another mom and says, "How's about a play date Tuesday at 10?" And the other mom says, "Let me check my schedule," then screams, "Johnny! Come hang your coat up!" Then she gets back on the phone and says, "I can after soccer practice, at 10:30."

And the first mom says, "Okay. We can eat bundt cake and drink Bloody Marys."

And then the second mom says, "Okay."

And that's that.

I don't like play dates. I think they are stupid. Plus, I don't think I would like a Bloody Mary at 10:30 on a Tuesday morning. With or without the bundt cake.

So if you know me, or my kids eventually know your kids, just know that my kids are going to call your kids and ask them to come over to play. And here's the best part...


YOU. AREN'T. INVITED.


Just think...you can do the laundry, take a bubble bath, or read a book. And heck, my kids will probably come to your house to play, too, and then I can do my laundry, take a bubble bath, and read a book...at 10:30 on a Tuesday morning.

And our kids can bounce bouncy balls without mommies (soused or otherwise) hovering all over the place.


Droppin' it Like It's Hot (Even Though It's Kind of Not)

For the life of me, I can't get a good picture of this number:
Maybe that's because at this stage, there is no good picture to be got. This little lady is hangin' out so low that I swear at any moment I'm either going to pee my pants or have some other, less attractive than peeing, sort of outburst.

Don't think about that too much.

To turn over at night is an immense undertaking, one which requires something akin to a five point turn, and I am keeping the Charmin toilet paper company afloat and the water bill high.

I finally found a nursing bra after going to five different places in two different towns. I tried it on in the shop and liked it then, and I happily forked over the $55.00 that it costs to give my kid free food. But when I took it home and put it on with another particularly lovely nursing item that I had just bought seven of, I burst into tears.


"I'm a...MILK MACHINE!" I cried. "I just bought fifty five dollars of ugly!"

Brian was sweet. But I could tell he was trying not to laugh.

I am, in short, an emotional train wreck and kind of sort of ready to be done being pregnant. I appreciate and am very thankful for this opportunity. But let's face it. The ending there is a little rough.

So come on baby, let's drop it like it's hot.

Roll The Credits

Today is my due date, and I do believe that this will be my last Pregnancy Ponderings post (until next time, if we're lucky). So I find it appropriate to give credit where credit is due.

This pregnancy was made possible by the following:

Heavenly Father, a man and a woman who love each other very much, matter, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cherries, water, fries, tomatoes, carrots, ice cream, broccoli, whole milk, celery, apples, oranges, toast, honey, and cherry coke.

Any resemblance of the baby to any person, living or dead, is genetic and entirely intentional.

19 comments:

Kimba said...

point the first: play dates. only acceptable when the children can't call for themselves. like, say, right now. cause i tell ya, it's so nice to get together and chat with other moms and let the tiny ones burn off energy. when they're older and can sufficiently walk themselves up the hill, over the neighbors grass and down two doors to their best friends house? they'll be making all the arrangements themselves.

point the second: that girl is low and straight out! cutest pregnant belly (and not pregnant ANYWHERE else woman, 'cept besides maybe your boobs. but still. luuuucky!)

point the third: as i said, happy due date. eat some ice cream and sit on your butt with your feet up today. glass of cold cherry coke and maybe a few oreos or so. you done earned it girl. 40 weeks is a long time!!

Tara said...

Completely agree with Kimba. That playdate (when kids are too young to call, of course) sure is a nice break from the usual babytalk you'll find yourself doing!

And it's funny how you don't realize so much how huge your boobs get when your pregnant because it's dwarfed in comparison with the belly, but you just wait until that belly goes down and the milk comes in! I can't wait to read your post about that one!!!

Good luck in your final days or hours, or hopefully minutes!

Tara said...

just reread my post, and I promise I do know the difference between your and you're!

Abby said...

Good points, girls. And I can totally see that. It's just that some of the mommies in my hood are STILL getting together and their kids are well past the age when they can make arrangements by themselves. And not all the mommies love it. Of course, if I was real good friends with the moms in question, it would be fun. But what are the chances that I'm really really going to want to hang out with ALL my kid's friend's moms? Low.

Britanny said...

I share your view on playdates. I DON'T LIKE THEM. And, hang in there...you can't be pregnant forever, right?

Eliza said...

Happy due date! My second baby came on his very due date, maybe little Lydia will too... I'm hoping she does for your sake. Yes, pregnancies are an extraordinary blessing but albeit they are exhausting, especially once you hit 40 weeks!

Jocelyn and Cody Pehrson said...

First, I'm not sure how I feel about play dates yet. I haven't been. I hope that when my kids are of age, they have the same opportunity as I did growing up. To have a short walk a few houses down or up to the friends.
Second, I agree with Kim. You are a gorgeous pregnant woman. Your belly is HUGE! But every other part of you is small. I hope you don't snap your skinny legs trying to carry around that belly. LOL
Third, once again your a genius in your writing, so clever and creative. I am so excited to see this genetically beautiful baby of yours! Again agreeing with Kim when I say, you deserve to sit and do nothing. Cause sitting and doing nothing won't come again for...well.... it won't come. Love you!

heather said...

Play dates are so freaking lame! I refuse to do them, that is unless I want to hang out with the kids mom and the kids HAVE to hang out with us. Could you please be my neighbor?

Oh and your belly is well, big. So big that i'll say a prayer for you tonight that she'll come STAT!

C.J. and Jackie said...

Too bad we don't live closer so that Brian and I could have play dates.

Bre said...

My dear little sister, I'm sorry this sucks. k's sister went 2 weeks past her due date. She told the doctor if he didn't start her she would do it herself. (She's a nurse.) I hope and pray all turns out well. And NO MATTER what you wear you look amazing! If you don't believe me ask Brian. Loves and hugs from Utah!

Kaylynn said...

I can't even imaging allowing my kids to go to the park by themselves, like we always did as children, but I could drop my kids off at someone's house for a play date and do laundry. I hope this baby comes quickly!

Kjersti said...

I know that this is NOT the point you were trying to make, but I have to tell you how much I love the reference to playing with bouncy balls. This weekend we took Kami with us to a store that had bouncy balls for 25 cents and she's been playing with them since then, and it reminds me of the Toppers-and-bouncy-balls days. Those were some good days. I hope both of our kids have good friends that they can eat ice cream and play bouncy balls with.
Also, I have to agree with everyone else, you're a beautiful pregnant woman. I understand being done with it by this point, though, and remember the 5 point turns in bed all too well.
I can't wait to see that sweet girl. I know I've said that a million times, but it's still true.

The Bauers said...

Abby I know you want to have your baby and all but if you wait for another week you can have her on the best day of the year- FEB 1- my birthday of course- I would be honored to share it with her..... so try ok!!! By the way, look so great, seriously- you are one of those super cute only get pregnant in the belly stylish type of girls, I know how uncomfortable it can get in the end though, hang in there she will be here before you know it!

Brian said...

Dude, I'm with you bro. We could have some SWEET play dates....

Jessica and Reecey said...

Oh my dear, at this point I still had a week left. I officially hate due dates. As for play dates, I have them all the time right now, but only because I think I would go crazy without some adult interaction every once in awhile. Maybe I will start playing with bouncy balls instead :) Also, you look SO fantastic.

heather said...

I'm checking this thing everyday waiting for news on that baby! I can't wait! I can't wait!

meghan said...

Abby, I've been checking your blog every day to see if there is any news of Lydia's arrival. Today my girls were looking over my shoulder when I pulled up the picture of your due date belly. Klara exclaimed, "Whoa! Is that Abby? How does she sleep with that big baloon in there?" I remember having to lift my belly to roll over at night! You are in my prayers. Hopefully you are not blogging because you are occupied with other tiny, sweet things!
I will call Dad for an update.
Love, Meg

Camille and Paul said...

Oh honey,I feel for you! But even being full term you look darling! Best of luck to you!

And like Kim said, you will have to arrange your own play dates for a little while, because Mommy needs to get out too!
Much love!

Madeline and Family said...

I don't know if you'll notice my little comment down here but, I wanted to tell you that I've been loving your blog. I haven't been very good at commenting but, I've been reading. You might not see this so I'll say it anyway. I think you're pulling off a sexy look in that picture for a pregnant gal. Good job. ;)