Friday, July 3, 2009

The Bloat and Other Miscellany

An elderly woman at our church has three old cherry trees and she invited a few families to come and pick our hearts out.

Not wanting to be out picked, I made sure we had just as much as the other family with us. A family of six. Now I have three large Tupperware tubs full of cherries in my fridge. Many trips to the powder room will be my punishment for such gluttony, I am sure.

But no matter. Baby likes cherries.

Speaking of the baby. Can we talk about THE BLOAT? Seriously, why didn't anyone sit me down and warn me about this? I've heard other friends talking about it, and to me I just figured it was the kind of bloat that girls get every month. You know, where you say you're bloated but you don't really look bloated. No, no, we are talking about a whole different animal here. Now I understand why Kim offered to send me a pair of her gauchos. And why one of my pregnancy books said to just wear your husband's clothes. Black socks with plaid shorts? Oh, I'm on it.
Before I introduce you to THE BLOAT, here are some quick bloat facts for you:
The bloat reveals itself at night.
The bloat will not be tamed.
The bloat likes the windows down.
The bloat likes to make you feel sorry for yourself.
The bloat will not be mocked.
The bloat will destroy any buttons, zippers, or duct tape in it's path
The bloat is no respecter of persons.
The bloat is not afraid.

I asked my doctor about this strange phenomenon. It alarmed me at first. So large was my abdomen I thought I was pregnant with quads. He merely chuckled and said, "It's hormones." And that was right about the same time he told me he wouldn't be surprised if I gained 35 to 40 POUNDS during my pregnancy (I am strangely excited about this possibility).

Now that you know all about THE BLOAT, here is proof that it exists.

Here I am around lunchtime today:
And here I am around 11:30 tonight:

You're shocked. I know. So am I. So let's change the subject, shall we?

I love the show Good Eats with Alton Brown. Last night I tried his recipe for Curry Chicken Pot Pie and holy freakin' moly it was delicious. If you're leery about curry, don't be, because you can hardly taste it. I may or may not have gone a little overboard with my crust, alright?
Try it, I know you'll love it.

Now it is time for me to roll my bloated self off the couch, up the stairs, and into my bed.

Goodnight, dear friend.


Kaylynn said...

It's only that you are so skinny that you look so bloated. The recipe looks wonderful, and I will have to try it! I love chicken pot pie!

Martha Lee said...

I was telling Chris that the only thing that is good about "the bloat" is that in the morning when it has gone away for awhile you feel skinny. All the sudden your cloths fit like they use to and feel like yourself.

Adam and Tara said...

Hey! Try these out for me? I've been staring at this recipe and can't find the time to make them! :)

Jessica and Reecey said...

Oh the beloved bloat. Since I didn't actually know that I was pregnant until about week 10, I just thought I was getting fat, then skinny again, then fat, then skinny again. It almost drove me to insanity. I can't tell you how relieved I was when the bloat became a bump. Hang in there! It will happen! As for the 35-40 pound weight gain, my doctor told me the same thing, and it was a big lie. But I guess I still have 4 weeks to go, so it could happen :)

Colby and Steph Stringham said...

ABBY!!! You are soooo cute! I am so happy for you and Brian! You will be the cutest mom! Congrats on graduating! Colby's little sister is due the same month! How fun for your little family!! xoxo

Kimba said...

You scoffed, you laughed, you were like, nah, gauchos! Psh!

And I was like huh. I needed them that early...and I felt fat. And now I feel sorta better. Like, phew! It wasn't just me! :)

I'm tellin' ya, soon it will be a real bump. So enjoy the skinny AM belly! :)

Also, 35 - 40 lbs will look so fabulous on you. :)

heather said...

35-40 lbs is lovely. I too welcomed such a change. Even added a few lbs to the mix the first time around. The good thing about the bloat and your soon changing figure is that... "Your patience will be rewarded."

If you truly heart A.B. as I do you will recognize the above quote.

Your belly however, is tiny and adorable and carrying quite the fetus I'm sure.

Bethany said...

Abby, I'm so excited for you guys. Congrats! I love your blog about becoming a baby while pregnant. I never put that together. Hillarious!

The Kilpacks said...

Ahh the bloat! And the curry chicken pot of my favorites! I just wish more people liked it in my house. Glad to hear that you'r well..aside from the bloat and all.

Kjersti said...

Hooray for pregnancy pictures! Even if they're of the bloat, I'm happy to see them!