Not wanting to be out picked, I made sure we had just as much as the other family with us. A family of six. Now I have three large Tupperware tubs full of cherries in my fridge. Many trips to the powder room will be my punishment for such gluttony, I am sure.
But no matter. Baby likes cherries.
Speaking of the baby. Can we talk about THE BLOAT? Seriously, why didn't anyone sit me down and warn me about this? I've heard other friends talking about it, and to me I just figured it was the kind of bloat that girls get every month. You know, where you say you're bloated but you don't really look bloated. No, no, we are talking about a whole different animal here. Now I understand why Kim offered to send me a pair of her gauchos. And why one of my pregnancy books said to just wear your husband's clothes. Black socks with plaid shorts? Oh, I'm on it.
Before I introduce you to THE BLOAT, here are some quick bloat facts for you:
The bloat reveals itself at night.
The bloat will not be tamed.
The bloat likes the windows down.
The bloat likes to make you feel sorry for yourself.
The bloat will not be mocked.
The bloat will destroy any buttons, zippers, or duct tape in it's path
The bloat is no respecter of persons.
The bloat is not afraid.
I asked my doctor about this strange phenomenon. It alarmed me at first. So large was my abdomen I thought I was pregnant with quads. He merely chuckled and said, "It's hormones." And that was right about the same time he told me he wouldn't be surprised if I gained 35 to 40 POUNDS during my pregnancy (I am strangely excited about this possibility).
Now that you know all about THE BLOAT, here is proof that it exists.
Here I am around lunchtime today:
And here I am around 11:30 tonight:
You're shocked. I know. So am I. So let's change the subject, shall we?
I love the show Good Eats with Alton Brown. Last night I tried his recipe for Curry Chicken Pot Pie and holy freakin' moly it was delicious. If you're leery about curry, don't be, because you can hardly taste it. I may or may not have gone a little overboard with my crust, alright?
Try it, I know you'll love it.
Now it is time for me to roll my bloated self off the couch, up the stairs, and into my bed.
Goodnight, dear friend.