So here's a thing. Why do people give guests tours of their house? As if to say, "Behold, my domain!" as they sweep their hands over the Corian countertops.
If you're reading this, ask yourself. Are YOU a tour giver?
Then ask yourself again, have you ever been TAKEN on a tour and wondered "Why the heck are these people showing me their closets?"
Brian and I were invited to Sunday dinner a few years back. A nice couple with young kids. He was a doctor, and their house was pretty. When we got there, he said to us, "Well, we'll have some dinner, and then afterwards, I'll give you a tour of the house!" Since it wasn't a question, we couldn't say no. And after dinner, on a tour we went, through each little closet, each little nook and cranny.
We even got to see the crawl space.
What was the point? Look how great my house is? Look at all my food storage?
I look with disdain upon home tours, and I have been unwittingly taken on them more times than I can count. But, if you MUST give me a tour, I would like to set some rules.
#1. Only give me a tour of your house if it's absolutely amazing. Read: if you have a water slide going through your kitchen, through the master bedroom, and then into a tank of sharks.
#2. A tour of your house is permissible if you have done a lot of the handiwork yourself. Brian would be interested in that, but forgive me if I yawn and look at my fingernails while you talk about your caulking job.
#3. Remodels/ redecorations ALWAYS warrant a tour.
#4. Tours are also okay if you are my close friend or family member, and if I have never seen your house before. And vice versa.
Brian thinks I am being mean right now. He frowns upon all negativity in the whole wide world.
So I will say this nicely.
I myself have given home tours. My good friend Mark was the most recent recipient, and I'm pretty sure he wanted a tour, because he was looking in my laundry room and pantry and stuff. Which is totally okay, because he is my good friend. Plus I would do it at his house. So. (He and Bridgette also offered their highly sought after input on the bedroom project, to the room's great benefit.)
I guess it all boils down to one basic thing: If I don't know you, you really don't need to give me a tour. Really. You're just moving too fast, and I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.